1.9.15 Kick-Start

As we kick-start 2015, we give some thought to how folks kick-start their day.

Almost five thousand years ago, a Chinese emperor named Shennong found a better way to wake up. He realized that if you dunk tea leaves in hot water, the resulting brew proved to be a great way to start the day. The practice spread throughout China, and it wasn’t long before the world found out. Soon tea was being traded regionally, with bricks of tea being used as a form of currency. Over time, China became almost synonymous with tea, and went on to become the world’s preeminent tea grower. Today China produces almost a million metric tons per year.

Next came coffee, heathen punk. It was discovered in Ethiopia in 600 AD, just as Islam was spreading throughout the Middle East. The plants didn’t grow well in Europe, so of course the Christians demonized coffee, and continued to do so for a thousand years. But, as soon as the Spaniards realized they could grow coffee themselves in the New World, they had a change of heart. Around 1600, Pope Clement VIII blessed the stuff.  Suddenly, coffee was hot. It soon overtook tea as the western world’s jolt of choice. Today, Brazil holds the title of “The Caffeineator” thanks to its yearly output of six billion beans worth of beans.

But we were still yawning. So in 1962, a Thai businessman developed a drink called “Krating Daeng,” which was co-opted in 1984 by an Austrian named Dietrich Mateschitz, who translated the name into “Red Bull.” Loaded with taurine – an amino acid found in ox bile – as well as buckets of sugar, a week’s worth of B vitamins, carbohydrates and caffeine, Red Bull is a real eye opener. Even the packaging is hyperbolic, claiming that Red Bull “improves performance, increases concentration and reaction speed, increases endurance and stimulates metabolism.” This must be true, because millions of adolescents are slurping the stuff by the gallon. Red Bull sales will easily top $7B this year.

Now it seems that the only people still sleeping are the US Food and Drug Administration. Outside America, selling bovine stomach acid to minors seems suspicious. Red Bull is being investigated by the Swedish National Food Administration after being linked to the death of three consumers. Red Bull marketing is restricted in Denmark, Norway, France and Iceland. The Brits won’t sell it anyone under 16, and the Finns will sell you only one can per day. But here in the U.S., you can sell and drink all you want, with no age restrictions.

We were intrigued. We were tired. We swigged a can an hour ago.

Would we have another? Not for all the tea in China.

6.10.11 Sweet Summer

It’s celestial, revolutionary, and simply good.

Camellia sinensis came down to humans from high above.  Originally found growing on the slopes of the Himalayas, it was brought into China as a medicinal herb about 5000 years ago.  Legend has it that the emperor Shen Nung was the first to realize its most potent property, when he placed some of the leaves into a pot of boiling water.  The result was a delicious brew that was safer to drink than pure water, and which sharpened the mind while providing a calming break.

When the Portuguese reached the Celestial Empire in 1557, they took a liking to the stuff and brought some of the fresh, green leaves home to Europe.  But it didn’t travel well, so soon after the Dutch opted to buy the “black” version of the leaves – dried and oxidized leaves pressed into a handy brick – which the Chinese were happy to sell, since it was lower quality.  Within a century or two, these bricks became a kind of international currency among European trading nations.

The power of the plant was truly revealed in England and throughout its empire, when the drink replaced beer as the standard mid-afternoon break for the working class. The plant was one of the primary commodities of the world’s first publicly traded company, which was wildly profitable for over 250 years.  It became such a part of the culture that when London attempted to tax sales of the plant in the New World, American colonists rebelled and dumped several tons of it into Boston Harbor.

South Carolina was the first state to grow the stuff, but consumption was limited during the oppressive heat of summer.  In 1879, a publication called Housekeeping in Old Virginia suggested a cold version of the drink, made with a simple sugar syrup, poured over ice, with a slice of lemon.  But ice was not widely available until the invention of refrigeration.  At the 1904 World’s Fair, this cold version exploded into the national consciousness.  So sweet, so simple, so good.

It’s June, and summer has unofficially begun.  Welcome to National Sweet Tea Month.

May we suggest a sprig of mint?

3.16.07 Wake Up Call

Please excuse the following; we’re a little wired this morning.

Humans have never been “morning people”.  Ever since we crawled out of caves, we’ve been looking for a better way to wake up.  Seven thousand years ago, a Chinese emperor realized that if you dunk tea leaves in hot water, the resulting brew kick-starts your day.  It became the world’s first pick-me-up and quickly conquered the known world.  China went on to become the world’s pre-eminent tea grower, and now produces almost a million metric tons per year.  Those potent leaves are worth one and a half billion dollars.

Next came coffee, heathen punk.  It was discovered in Ethiopia in 600 AD, just as Islam was launched.  The plants didn’t grow well in Europe, so the Christians demonized coffee for a thousand years.  But, as soon as the Spaniards realized they could grow coffee in the New World, Pope Clement VIII blessed the stuff.  Suddenly, coffee was hot.  It soon overtook tea as our jolt of choice.  Today, Brazil holds the title of “The Caffeineator” thanks to its yearly output of six billion beans worth of beans.

But we were still yawning.  In 1962, a Thai businessman developed a drink called “Krating Daeng,” which was co-opted in 1984 by an Austrian named Dietrich Mateschitz, who translated the name into “Red Bull”.  Loaded with taurine, an amino acid found in ox bile – as well as buckets of sugar, a week’s worth of B vitamins, carbohydrates and caffeine – Red Bull is a real eye opener.  Even the packaging is hyperbolic, claiming that Red Bull “improves performance, increases concentration and reaction speed, increases endurance and stimulates metabolism.”  It must be true, because millions of adolescents are slurping the stuff by the gallon.  Red Bull sales will easily top $1B this year.

Now the only people still sleeping are the US Food and Drug Administration.  Outside America, selling bovine stomach acid to minors seems suspicious.  Red Bull is being investigated by the Swedish National Food Administration after being linked to the death of three consumers.  Red Bull marketing is restricted in Denmark, Norway, France and Iceland.  The Brits won’t sell it anyone under 16, and the Finns will sell you only one can per day.

We were intrigued.  We were tired.  We swigged a can an hour ago.  Would we have another?  Not for all the tea in China.